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Posts Tagged ‘Vicarage’

The Vicarage Cheese Mystery

Posted in Fun, Vicarage, tagged , , , , , , on 5 July, 2010| 3 Comments »

Not what you want to be doing at 5.20am

At last the Quinquennial builders have finished decorating and twiddling with our house. On their last day they had a fair bit to finish up and rushed around trying to tie up all the loose ends but they didn’t quite have time for everything. One loose end that they missed was the wire feeding electricity to our burglar alarm. The battery gave up at 5.20am the next morning. And then the alarm decided it had been tampered with and proceeded to go off almost constantly throughout Thursday until the alarm people came to sort it out.

As you can imagine, we were rather spacey throughout the day. My irritation was tempered, however, by the cheese mystery….

As the chaps were pottering around the house on their final day I  had decided to sort out the airing cupboard, which I needed to finish emptying and restock with sheets and towels that had been soaked in an earlier Quinquennial mishap. I went in to get the final bits and pieces out and… discovered a cheese.

How did it get there?

It was a Sunday night Vicarage supper cheese that I’d bought a couple of weeks ago. I’d wondered where it was on the previous Sunday evening. And there it was. Sitting in my airing cupboard. Not oozing or stinking yet, but perfectly ripe and ready to eat. A cheese mystery. And to date the mystery is unsolved. All Vicarage inhabitants deny putting cheese in the airing cupboard.  Perhaps I did it in my sleep – maybe it’s a sign that I need to go on holiday sooner rather than later.

One Twitter friend suggested that perhaps I would then find perfectly ironed linen in my fridge, but alas I only found some wizened ginger and lots of jars of obscure oriental relishes.

In the meantime, the mystery of the airing cupboard cheese makes me laugh every time I think of it. And we are considering leaving all our cheese in the airing cupboard in the future. As long as we don’t leave it there too long.

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Decorating the Inner City

Posted in Inner city, Vicarage, tagged , , , , , on 1 July, 2010| 4 Comments »

Our jolly builders have finished their work now. Until they come back with scaffolding to fix the roof gullies, that is. And the electrics. But they’ve gone for now anyway.

Our external paintwork is looking lovely and bright in the rather lurid blue we chose. Our lay reader called it ‘Greek blue’ which I think is good description. One of the first things they painted, on Thursday of last week, was the garage (wood shed) doors. On Friday we spotted that someone had been out with a key or similar sharp object and attempted graffiti. You can just about spot it on this photo:

You can just about see the scratches if you zoom into the middle of the shot

Thankfully the jolly lads were still here with their paint pot, so they’ve painted over it. And they’ve left us the rest of the tub for dealing with any future vandalism. Although I’d really like to paint the vandals rather than the doors, I know that what I need to do is pray for them.

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Vicarage Decorating Progress

Posted in Vicarage, tagged , , , , , , on 28 June, 2010| 2 Comments »

Vicarage life this week has been very busy with the addition of the Quinquennial builders. On Monday we spent the morning with seven workers swarming over the house, comprising our normal team of the three jolly lads, their boss & their electrician, the boiler service man AND the washing machine repair man after the laundry emerged smelly on Friday afternoon.

The main project has been painting external woodwork, and the blue I chose last week is being applied today. It’s rather more lurid than I was expecting, but I’m getting used to the cheery tone. They’ve had a cherry picker in too, to reach the eaves of the house, which is three storeys, with 10′ ceilings. Rather them than me up there wobbling about.

It’s been a bit of a hot and sticky week for them, especially for the Jolly Lad who’s been doing the plastering in one of our attic rooms and in the bathroom. I’ve been keeping them supplied with ice lollies as well as coffee.

So here are a few shots to update you on how things are looking:

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Vicarage Building Work

Posted in Vicarage, tagged , , , , , , , , , , , on 19 June, 2010| Leave a Comment »

This week our Quinquennial work started. Our Victorian vicarage needs a fair bit of patching up and the diocese very kindly pay for it to be sorted out every five years. The work was identified back in February and we now have three cheery lads stripping paint, sanding things and generally working their socks off to make us look respectable. They’re taking advantage of the good weather to work on the outside stuff just now. All the indoor bits should be done next week.

The photos aren’t great, but they give you an idea of the work that’s begun. More will follow next week as our exterior paintwork changes from faded red to a marine/navy blue. Most of it’s grey just now as they’ve now put the primer on.

I am making a good few cups of coffee and tea. On Thursday I gave them lollies as it was stinky hot by the end of the afternoon.

The woodshed (aka garage) door loses its red paint

Rather blurry picture of the van. This cheery lad spent most of Friday high in the air (we've 3 storeys) painting our eaves.

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Vicarage Garden Fashion

Posted in Fun, Garden, Vicarage, tagged , , , , , on 10 June, 2010| 4 Comments »

I did some gardening at the weekend. To make sure I got it absolutely right, I tried to dress like Alys Fowler. But I only took a piccy of the skirt and wellies, as I’ve a long way to go to grow my hair and make it look all Pre-Raphaelite. I need to dye it red, too.

I’m sort of hoping that if the seeds see the look, they’ll behave as they would for Alys, but I may be being wildly optimistic.

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A Mouldy Day

Posted in Garden, Vicarage, tagged , , , , , , , on 26 May, 2010| 4 Comments »

I’d been getting all excited about our gooseberry bush. It is bursting with green berries. I had visions of gooseberry fool and pickles and pies and all sorts of yumminesses. And then this afternoon I saw it. MOULD. On the end of nearly every fruit-heavy branch.

What a sad waste - I hacked off about 100 berries

It seems that we have American Gooseberry Mildew. Just like the Yanks, coming over here and ruining our traditional summer desserts. So I went and hacked the plant back, following advice on websites, although it looks like I might be a bit late – you’re meant to do that in the winter. I don’t know if this will stop the spread this year, but I’m going to watch it like a hawk now. Mostly the advice said to plant resistant bushes. Not much good if it’s already there.

Anyone else inherited a gooseberry plant that was mouldy? Will I get any fruit this year?

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Vicarage Bluebells

Posted in Garden, tagged , , , , on 10 May, 2010| 8 Comments »

We recently went to visit the Engineer’s godmother on her family farm. We had a lovely walk up to a little wood where there are beautiful bluebells growing wild. She tells me that there are two types of bluebell that grow in the UK – wild English bluebells that are protected and special and Spanish incomer bluebells that are driving the genuine article out. A bit like grey squirrels, I guess.

Since we have bluebells in our Vicarage garden I then wanted to work out which ones we have. Since not all are blue (we also have whitebells and lilacbells) I suspect they are the Spanish variety. What do you think?

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The Doorbell Goes Again

Posted in Vicar's wife job description, Vicarage, tagged , , , on 17 April, 2010| 1 Comment »

It’s been a bit of a doorbell day here at the Vicarage. They are always brought on by sunshine. Kids calling for our kids, and neighbours calling with news.

Ding dong. Is the Vicar in? Or his wife?

I was asked to call the out-of-hours doctor for Glamourpuss, who was laid up in severe pain and without any credit on her phone. Later, other parishioners ring the doorbell and keep me updated – she has been called back by NHS Direct… the ambulance is on its way… there she goes off to hospital with suspected DVT.

Then, as the kids are off to bed and we’re hoping for a bit of a chilldown, the doorbell goes again. It’s Lostboy, a lad with learning difficulties, who is almost impossible to understand. He’s on his scooter and I think he’s asking where the Vicar is, but I’m not sure. I tell him where the Vicar is (upstairs, putting his children to bed) and he seems to be happy. He’s called round daily for the past few days. Hopefully he’ll find what he’s after.

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The Next Eight Months

Posted in Garden, Vicarage, tagged , , , , , , on 8 March, 2010| 2 Comments »

Whilst I was away on a fab conference last week, the weather went all spring-like. This is normally an indicator of sprouting snow drops and daffs, of nesting birds and budding trees. But here in the Vicarage, Spring is heralded by the chirupping of the front door bell. Especially on Saturdays.

When I answer the door, I am confronted by two, three or even four hopeful looking little faces:

Can we come and play?

And so I’m dusting off the garden rules (no one in the garden if they’ve not said ‘hello’ to me, only one bouncer on the trampoline at a time, your mum must know that you’re at the Vicarage etc) and counting heads and enjoying (usually) happy squealing. And that’s it for the next eight months or so, with brief intermissions for bad weather. Now, where are my gardening gloves?

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Quinquenniwhat?

Posted in Inner city, Vicarage, tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , on 8 February, 2010| Leave a Comment »

We had our Quinquennial last Wednesday. Oh the joys of being Anglican and living in the world of archdeacons, Septuagesima and antidisestablishmentarianism.  But thankfully a Quinquennial is not as complex as any of these: is just a five year anniversary. And it’s the shorthand for a five yearly inspection of church property. In this case it was of the Vicarage. It’s the diocese’s way of ensuring that essential maintenance is done on crumbling Vicarages at regular intervals.

So we had a visit from our excellent diocesan architect and he went round making a note of the broken door handles and peeling external paint. He gave us the good news of the four year double glazing programme to which have now been added. Meaning that we should get double glazing in about a year’s time. So we’ve another year of pretty iced window photos to come. And he admired our wood burning stoves and wrote a long list of works. These then have to be quoted against, go up to a diocesan committee and then get commissioned. My vicar’s wife friend, Snap, who lives in a different diocese, says her work, already identified, won’t be started on until September. The joys of ministry. But at least it’s in the pipeline.

Us soon! I hope.

As the architect left, a surveyor for the insulation company commissioned by WarmZone arrived. He went round our cold bits and has promised loft and cavity wall insulation before Easter. So although we’ll not have the double glazing, we should be properly insulated next winter. After our visit from Seema the other week, we were under the impression that we’d get this work done for a bargain £49.

But it seems things are turning out even better for us – npower are now funding the project completely for all payers of council tax in Sandwell. So if you live near me you can get this help for nothing. Gratis. Wonderful.

But not if you’re my friend Tink. She applied for help from WarmZone, but her private landlord has declined to have anything done. She tells me that although they offered the loft and cavity wall insulation for free, because they declined to provide a free boiler as well, her landlord decided not to have any work at all.

In the meantime, Tink continues to pay higher bills for energy than all her neighbours, living in council owned property in the same terrace. And there’s nothing she can do about it apart from continue to bid for a council house, just as she’s been doing for the last two years. Sometimes I have reason to be thankful for the Church of England.

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