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This Sunday the Vicar preached for the first time in our ‘Blessed’ sermon series, looking at nine psalms that speak of how God blesses us. This week we were in Psalm 1.

Blessed is the man
who does not walk in the counsel of the wicked
or stand in the way of sinners
or sit in the seat of mockers.

But his delight is in the law of the LORD,
and on his law he meditates day and night.

Psalm 1v1-2

At the end of the sermon the Vicar read the ten commandments so that we could spend a few moments meditating on them. And here are two kinetic typography clips I collected last week. And this was a sermon I didn’t proofread before it was delivered…

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Do come in, but perhaps you won't find what you're expecting...

Not everyone knows the real answer to this question. And sometimes it’s tempting for us to do something worthy but low down on our priority list in order to help people who think the church is really a sort of extension of social services.

That was my temptation earlier today, when local social services telephoned us. The lady calling didn’t introduce herself, but asked if we had a room available for a parent to have contact with their children. They needed two hours, twice a week. I answered that our church hall was available to hire if they were looking for space.

But that wasn’t what this lady wanted. She was after space that was free. Or was there somewhere else? Perhaps the Vicarage? ‘Because churches want to support families staying together.’

Well, obviously, that is something the church wants to support. But we are a small congregation in a deprived area. So we can’t afford to let people use our rooms for free. And you all know that the Vicarage already has plenty of people in need passing through its doors. And, when we consider what we’re really about, our mission is not social service, to keep families together (for example), just because that is a good thing. Our mission is to help bring people out of the dominion of darkness and into the kingdom of the Son. And stronger families are a result of that, not an end in itself. We need to keep the main thing the main thing, otherwise we could spend all our time in worthy, but ultimately fruitless, activities.

I was interested that they thought the church would help (which we might have been able to do I guess, if we were a wealthier church with a church hall that was open anyway). There is still a perception that churches care about people and their troubles. I can’t imagine Richard Dawkins gets many calls asking him to make his living room available for use by families in crisis.

Incidentally, I wonder if this is part of a new plan for councils to reduce their spending? Perhaps they are looking to the church to provide free facilities for all their other activities as well. Will we be getting a call from their finance department asking if we’ve got space for a few of their accountants? Is this an initiative that Grant Shapps has launched?

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I would really really really like to be better at organising our family life. The Vicar has a real problem with organisation. In fact, he always prays for the spiritual gift of administration, valuing it very highly, but so far the Lord has not blessed him in that department. And he has just appointed an administrator, but she’s not fulltime. Yet. And I’m not sure it’s her job to organise the family as well as the parish.

One of the things I have been looking for is a calendar system that both the Vicar and I could access from our individual (but networked) computers and also (in the future, when we upgrade our rather primitive devices) mobile phones. The Vicar currently has a Palm Pilot, but obviously this technology is now rather retro.

One friend has recently recommended cozi.com to us, which looks fantastic. However, I notice that it’s only really good with the iPhone, (that’s the only one where you’re able to edit as well as read the calendar) not other smartphones, and she uses it with Outlook and we use Mozilla Firefox. So I’m not sure about it, tho’ her local computer expert tells us it should be fine. How do you organise your family/parish lives? What is the solution, and if there isn’t one, can someone please design it? Thanking you all for your kind attention in this matter…

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Another Goodness Gracious Me clip to cheer your August holidays.

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Sorry not to have posted these results before. Somehow it’s harder to find time to do things in the holidays… Anyway, here they are:

Technique Votes Percentage
Colouring/quizzes 23 21%
Books 21 19%
Other (see below) 15 14%
Extensive pre-service briefing on loving ones neighbour by not distracting them 13 12%
Breadsticks or other healthy snack 12 11%
Threats 8 7%
Cuddly toys 8 7%
Sweeties or similar 7 6%
My kids always sit nicely, I don’t know what you’re talking about 1 1%

Other Answers (all 1 vote each)

Participation

  • taking time to answer all questions about what’s going on and being said
  • Get them to play in the music group!
  • OH actually tries to get him to follow the lesson and sing the hymns!
  • cuddles, sitting on knee and talking about what is going on
  • Participation in the worship
  • Quietly talking them through what’s happening.

Training

  • Teaching and training parents in how to develop their kids’ attention level

Extreme

  • Gags
  • taser

Distraction/other

  • wandering round with them so they can focus on something ‘more interesting’;
  • Not always possible but don’t take them until they want to
  • “What’s Daddy doing now?”
  • Have child-focused services and a creative vicar
  • Just letting them be
  • i dont have kids!

So the recommended techniques seem to be a combination of activities (including participating in the service), food and working on expectations (both children’s, parents’ and congregation’s – the latter was mentioned more in the comments).

It’s a tricky area for us all I suspect and I guess we need to encourage one another to persevere. We want those kids to be real church family members now as they will be the core church family of the future, God willing.

This subject is ripe for future polls, so watch out for more once the summer hols are over and my thinking head is less distracted by screaming kids beating each other up. We like to set a good model of Christian family life here in the Vicarage.

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Last week’s poll highlighted the challenge of sitting with small squiggling people in church. We love to have them there (such a blessing and encouragement!), but we DO WISH they’d not distract everyone else from concentrating on the Lord (or on all the other things that are already distracting them).

So this week’s poll is on your preferred method for keeping children quiet in church (or – thanks for highlighting this aspect, Icklesis – helping them to stay focussed so that they can participate more fully). As last week, you can add other suggestions, and you can vote for more than one. I’m keeping the results secret this time, though (until I publish them). Oh the suspense!

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So, I imagine you’re all keen to see the proper results for last week’s poll. I have had a lot of fun looking at these. I hope you enjoy them as much as I have.

As you can see, the main concerns are about others in the congregation – their presence or absence and whether you need to speak them later. A good thing I think, as church is a family and we need to look out for one another. I obviously missed out a major category, as many of the ‘other’ comments indicated that people worry about their children in church. This is certainly true for me. I mean, how many times do I have to tell the Joker that drumming his feet is not helpful? And is there any chance that the Queen will actually be in the church building at the start of the service? I think concerns over children also count as concern for others – both the kids themselves and those who might be distracted by them.

Answer Votes Percentage
Who is there/missing and why
32
21%
Other
25
17%
Who you have to speak to after the service
21
14%
Music
16
11%
God
14
9%
What people are wearing
13
9%
What you are rostered for & whether you’re prepared for it
12
8%
The Sunday lunch
10
7%
Nothing at all
4
3%
Sport
2
1%
How you’re going to catch the Vicar before he leaves for lunch
1
1%

And here are the ‘other’ answers, categorised (vaguely):

Children

  • How many breadsticks it is safe to feed a toddler during one service
  • Sometimes thigs my adult children wil be doing at their churches….pray 4 them.
  • How to keep my kids quiet
  • Keeping our kids under control (why do we always sit at the front)
  • Where’s my son gone?
  • wait, only 6 kids today?
  • how much longer the children will behave themselves for ! 🙂
  • how to stop my baby crawling on the altar!
  • What my children are getting up to
  • is my young son behaving/keeping him happy until the peace which is his fave bit
  • The baby (feeding/sleeping/keeping quiet etc)
  • work, children, visiting parents later

Thoughts about the service

  • Additional comments on sermon to make to husband/vicar later
  • wishing there was more silence before the start of a service!
  • Numbers of communicants!
  • What is this song supposed to mean?
  • Will the songpro and sound desk work this week?
  • Wow, such and such is here again, praise God.
  • How amazing churches are and the astounding effort that went into building them

The Week Ahead

planning what I’m going to shop for this wk?
To do list
Work

Away with the Fairies

  • the bird table outside the church window!
  • Daydreaming

Thanks all for participating. Next week’s poll – best ways to keep children quiet in church 🙂

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After Monday’s blogpost showing Joyce Grenfell worrying during the opening hymn about her stock boiling dry, I thought it would be interesting to find out what you all worry about during the service (when you’re not concentrating on the things of the Lord, which of course we’d all prefer to do, but it is so hard not to be distracted).

[Edit: I think you can vote for more than one, but as it’s the first poll I’ve done, I’m not sure – can someone let me know?!]

I’ll leave it open for a week before publishing the results…

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Well, a small sample of it. Not listed are the additional Vicar’s wife’s concerns of ‘why isn’t so-and-so here?’, ‘has the Vicar remembered to bring his sermon notes?’ and ‘am I on coffee or Sunday school this morning?’

Happy Monday morning all.

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The Rector’s Wife is a regular commentator on this blog, and recently she made an aside remark about her experiences collecting charity envelopes which made me want to find out more! I asked her to send me the whole story so I could share it with you…

You know how when you knock on someone’s door, then you sometimes see a little face peeping out through the window to see who is there?  Well there I am, knocking on doors to collect Christian Aid envelopes, and I see the vertical blinds at the window twitch and there’s a little monkey.  First of all I think it’s a toy but then I look a the arms pulling back the blinds and I think – hey it is a real monkey!

Fortunately for my sanity my 8 year old, Thomas, was with me, and a boy he knew from school was playing on the street and chatting to Thomas, and it turned out he lived next door.

So I asked the boy if there was a monkey living at the house – and he said yes, also two porcupines, a snake, a pig… and I think there were some others.  Apparently they own a pet shop.

Strangely Thomas wasn’t bothered about the monkey, but he thought it was pretty yuck that they had a pig!  But at least he could confirm to my husband that I really had seen a monkey (unlike the camel in a field story, when the Rector didn’t believe me for weeks until he saw it himself, but that’s another story, not related to churches or vicars or anything like that!).

I also discovered that one of the houses down the road has a fire engine in the front garden.  Which I had never noticed before (although to be fair the house is tucked away in the corner, with high hedges.)

So there you have it – the joys of collecting. And maybe an interesting incentive for visiting the parish door to door. Not seen any monkeys around here though. Plenty of Staffies, yes, but definitely no monkeys. Or fire engines, come to think of it.

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