Today the diocese sent some chaps round. Don’t worry, they’ve not discovered that I mistook the liturgical season for Christmas instead of Epiphany. We’re keeping that one quiet. The chaps came round after we reported the repeated leaks in our living room ceiling. They’ve known about them for ages actually. And sent chaps round before. The chaps sealed the window in the living room a few times. And then they sealed our bedroom window sill a few times too. And then we’ve had more weather (strong winds and heavy rain do it best) and the leaks have continued and the Vicar has worked out the path the water has been taking (under our bedroom window sill, down the inside of the wooden panelling above our window and then into the panel above the window in the living room).
The panelless living room ceiling
The Vicar’s latest email to the diocese mentioning possible damp and rot elicited a rapid response team who arrived today. And they had to take the panelling down in the living room. It was rotten. And there are some patches of rot in the oak lintel above but they can be treated. And the window sill above is now covered in felt. They’re going to reinstate everything when the promised double glazing arrives next month and things have dried out.
And this evening the Vicar had to head to the church basement, where the boilers live. There, appropriately dressed in wellies and rubber gloves, he discovered that the sump pump intake was blocked with leaves and other debris. A trugful of slimy gunk later, he was able to start the pump again and hopefully tomorrow the basement will be free of water.
These have been minor irritations compared to what others have suffered in this recent damp spell, but I’ll be glad when the weather perks up a bit, I must say.
The Vicar's Wife 
Very Diary of a Provincial Lady, this one!
Ha! Sometimes my life seems very Provincial Lady. Chaps coming round to do things and what not.
Yes, these are the things they don’t tell you about at theological college…..
Indeed. Perhaps a Basic Church DIY course should be added to the curriculum? An introduction to drains, sump pumps and boilers?
I never got around to doing it, but I once considered writing a spoof early draft of the CW ordination service which included presentation of boiler manuals and much more.
I think you should work on that Shaun. Perhaps we could make a ‘things they don’t teach you at Theo college list’. With a ‘things they don’t tell you you will prob have to do’ sublist. My last moment thinking the latter was after the carol service when I was on my knees scraping trodden-in mince pie from the doormat…..