As Formfiller-In-Chief in the Vicarage, the lovely census form falls to me. Actually, we have two of them, as the database people think that The Vicarage at House Number, Street Name is a different dwelling to House Number, Street Name. Anyway, I will be communing with the forms over the weekend and battling with the usual question:
What exactly does your husband DO?
Before I get to the that, there’s the question of the Vicarage itself. I’m not sure whether our landlord is the Vicar’s employer or not, as he’s not officially ’employed’ – he’s an ‘office holder’ and the house is part of his ‘freehold’.
And then, of course, there is the employment question. The Vicar is not really an employee (although the diocese handle his stipend and he answers to the bishop), nor self-employed (though many of the ways that HMRC look at him are similar). I think he may be ‘doing any other kind of paid work’. The folk over at Thinking Anglicans are also wrestling with this and are suggesting ticking all the boxes in the first employment question (26) – although I think that option is really for people who have more than one job.
Alas, you do not have that choice for Question 33 and you must choose between being an employee and being self-employed. What will you all be choosing? And there is also the challenge of describing what you do in your main job. Pastor-teacher? Cure of souls? Ministry? Preaching the word and administering the sacraments?
I’m also looking forward to answering Q37: At your workplace, what is the main activity of your employer? If we go with the thought that the Vicar is employed by the Lord, I could have some fun with this: Running the universe. Upholding all things by His powerful word. For example.
Looking forward to hearing your suggestions. And it’s meant to be completed by Sunday…
The Vicar's Wife 
How about “Announce the kingdom of heaven”? 31 characters.
How about Dick Lucas’s explanation of his job, “preparing people for their deaths”?
Q 26: I think “working as an employee” is the most appropriate option, because of the way clergy are paid through Church Commissioners, assign their fees (which are work for other clients, but are then passed on), and is all now agreed under Common Tenure.
Q 33: ditto.
Q 34: I think that the title on the Bishop’s Licence is the best answer here. Almost: I’m “priest-in-charge”, but I put “Rector of * * and *” for long-term clarity.
Q 35: I think “Minister of Religion” is a good answer here. It’s the sort of description they like on passports etc.
Q 37: This is the one I’m least sure about. I put “Christian Worship and Mission.” I like “Running the Universe.” One of the comments on http://www.thinkinganglicans.org.uk/archives/004932.html put “Iofferthespotlesssacrificeofthemass.” Not my description, but I love the cynical creativity!
Q 38: I think “Church of England” fits best here. But as Bishop Alan says, you can’t write a cheque to the “Church of England”, so you might equally give Diocese; not Deanery or PCC, really. Does God have a business name?
Q 40-41: Work from home (we have no church office)
Q 42: sit down with your spiritual director / work-life coach! Most will have to put “49 or more”
I’ve found you can hop around the questions, and go back to them later on. Great blog and post – love it!
DH logged his main occupation as ‘sharing the good news of Jesus Christ’ …
Thanks for the comments and great ideas everyone. I’m saving the form-filling fun for tomorrow evening so will be honing our answers over the weekend.
I went for “life transformation” as description of what job entails, but had a long conversation re the rectory as the live without paying rent is essentially for people living with parents/friends rather than don’t pay rent because it’s a tied property and part of the stipend provision………..
Love this blog! Only came across it because I’ve been having an argument with my vicar husband as to whether he’s employed or not! Thought I’d do an internet search to see what came up and this did :o)
Glad I’m not the only one having problems filling it in – and I’m actually working for the Census! Decided I have to tick employee for him otherwise the questions get even more bizarre.
Now going to subscribe to your blog as I’ve a feeling I’m going to enjoy reading it!
Love your job description Puddleduck! I’m going to give the Vicar the final say before I submit the form. At the moment I’ve gone with the Dick Lucas line…
Welcome to the Vicarage, Gillian – I’m glad I ticked employee now! I hope you enjoy reading over the coming months.
We quite liked Q17 – the intentionally blank one. We have a primary teacher so that has gone into the form as “talking in a teacher like manner”. As for stewardship adviser the job description box wasn’t long enough so it ends with a letter ‘c’ which should have been the first letter of church. I am quite looking forward to the phone call from the computer that scans our form.
I have an extra morning at home due to flu (a cold really)so I thought I would tackle The Form to help out the curate. Then I read your blog and the comments and have decided I am too ill to tackle it! Thank you.
Whoopsie! Sorry now that I rambled on so long. Blessed are the procrastinators, for they shall…
Loved the post! I’m so glad my years in paid ministry began just after the last census and by this one I’m retired. What a palaver…. I’d probably have gone for employed, just to save complication.
Please can we have one of your forms?! We haven’t had one and I’ve just gone through the website to try and get one, but our house isn’t recognised. We are number 9, but when I put the postcode in it came up with 1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,10,11…. Presumably the census people walked past our house to get from number 7 to number 11 and didn’t notice it! Perhaps it has become invisible to muggles, and is really Grimauld Place…
We know you exist. Suppose you were to get a guarantee of a parsonage house that really really exists and it was by the sea side with steam trains and Spring Harvest. All of these are availabe -NOW – in a never to be repeated offer!
I think the need here is greater than there – now he is a team of 1!!! And whilst it sounds lovely, it’s a long way to the office…
I’m enjoying this thread! Welcome to all the new Vicarage visitors. Rector’s Wife – perhaps you should call the helpline – 0300 0201 101. I keep meaning to call them myself to clarify a few things before I finally press the submission button. Between us, I should think we could keep them talking for hours…
Only problem is that requires remembering to phone them between 8am and 6pm. Things like this I tend to pick up around 9pm! I have to say it took more than a few clicks to find the helpline phone number – well hidden, presumably to stop us from ringing too much! Although I guess it is on the form, if only I had one…
Can I have “labouring with all his energy to present everyone perfect in Christ”?
If you can fit all of that in the boxes then yes – if not then no. You could be an American and save a letter in the first word and use the word all to replace everyone. And then, when you have done that you may have to negotiate the Guardian of the Tippex – which may be a position within the Ordinariate some time shortly after Easter. After all, they have created titles for the early birds.
The official answer to ‘Job description’ used to be
“Clerk in Holy Orders”. That is what I put down – just to make them scratch their heads!!
Blessings on your ministry
Tio Tel
i just read this article http://goo.gl/9Lact in @richardhall ‘s blog about ministers and whether they are employees or office holders. I didn’t realise that they were office holders before. Guess if husband is going to go into the ministry, i’m going to have to work all of this out!
[…] assumed (unlike The Vicars Wife) that my “employer” (Q37) was was the Church of England so I listed the main activities […]
As a Methodist minister and chief form filler, I plumped for the “employee” option even though we’re not, technically, either. But life’s too short…… and most people I’ve spoken to in my position have done the same.
My husband always puts ‘Furthering the Kingdom of God’ when describing what he does.
Simples!
[…] the latest post, here, she talks about filling in the census form that comes to her address. This turns out to be a […]
[…] the answer should be: Running the universe. Upholding all things by His powerful word. (Thanks to the vicar’s wife) But if you go with the rough idea that clergy are employed by the local church, then surely the […]