Today I’m beginning a little series about Sunday lunches in our Vicarage. I’m planning to post some recipes and photos and everything. But for today I want to just talk about who comes to lunch.
We have found that Sunday lunch is a great opportunity to offer hospitality and get to know people in the congregation. Although folk in the inner city don’t really do dinner parties, people are very happy to come over for a meal after church.
I can't promise beef every week
Ever since I lived and worked in Cambridge in my twenties, my Vicarage Sunday lunch model has been the amazing meals served up by Fiona Ashton, (wife of Mark, vicar of StAG). Every week (it seemed) about 15 people joined the family for lunch, with a full roast and at least three puddings. I only went a couple of times – in a church of over 700 people I was just delighted to be asked. I’m not sure how Mark and Fiona organised their guest list either, but it was wonderful to be able to meet a real mix of people, as well as spend time with the Ashtons.
When we moved to our Vicarage, we decided we would try to be vaguely systematic and invite (over time) everyone on our church’s electoral roll (71 people). So far (six months in) I think we’re about a third of the way through. Of course, we’ve had a few Sundays off, a few with local friends, a few with visiting family and a couple of Sunday afternoon open houses (with tea and cake) when we first arrived. And yesterday the bishop came over with his family. We also try and invite newcomers if we can. One of the reasons that we settled in our church in Malaysia was the wonderful hospitality offered to us on our first Sunday there.
Sometimes it’s just one family who comes over, other times we manage a mix of people. Our table is not quite large enough for Ashton-sized gatherings but often there are ten or more people squeezed in. We can have more folk when the weather is good and we can sit in the garden.
I love our Sunday lunches and our kids enjoy meeting a wide range of people. The Queen is great at being hospitable and specialises in taking snacks round as I panic with the gravy at the last minute. The boys specialise in eating up quickly and wanting pudding. I hope they keep enjoying them as they get older, as I see these lunches as an important part of our ministry here – one that all the family can share in.
The Vicar's Wife 
Knowing your hospitality from Malaysia days, I think you and the Vicar are ideally suited to this. I think it’s a brilliant tradition for kids to grow up with, and a good way to help them adapt to all the different kinds of people you invite, whilst also developing their social skills. I look forward to your future blogs on this, and hope to add a few recipes for my dinner parties.
Our “tradition” for the kids, in our house in Malaysia, is more towards a few hours of swimming and a BBQ, and I must admit I’m rather too lazy to get adventurous with the menu most of the time, but as the kids get older and need less help getting changed, etc., plus start to appreciate more than a hot dog on a crappy Malaysian bun (which I DON’T feed their parents!), this should give me the incentive to change!
Hi Marg. I hope you don’t mind me editing our names out of your comment – although not completely anonymous, I like to be a bit vague about who we are on here.
I miss hours of swimming and barbeques. Not much opportunity for that here, sadly. Not a single pool in our town, and the weather is not always cooperative.
Fiona Ashton rocks!
Every time I have visited Cambridge over the years, she has insisted I go to their place for Sunday lunch. And me, a daughter of some Australian friends of theirs. She’s a great model of a wonderful Christian woman.
Hello RD and welcome to the Vicarage. Fiona Ashton does indeed rock, even more so because she’s a Scot, like the Vicar.
Oh, looking forward to seeing some great recipes on here soon. I love having people round for Sunday lunch and try and do it as often as I can. My cooking abilities are somewhat limited though so would appreciate some easy but tasty recipes. Also I find by time I get back from church it’s nearly 1 so by time I’ve cooked a roast it’s just after 2 and people are hungry. I haven’t got a preset timer on oven so can’t put stuff in beforehand – so quick ideas would be appreciated. Looking forward to your wisdom!
Hi Dawn. I am hoping to get a few recipes in, but it may take a few weeks… I intend to have a good attempt at the hungry people-church finishing late dilemma!
As a former sunday school leader, I fondly remember our minister announcing that one of the prime duties of the parents of sunday school children was inviting the leaders for Sunday Lunch. It worked really well, for a month or so.
Hi Peter and welcome to the Vicarage. I like the idea of encouraging the whole congregation in their hospitality. The challenge in the inner city is the culture of only offering hospitality to family members. But once we’ve been through the electoral roll I think we shall be looking at other groupings to invite – if the vicar’s not inviting people nobody will.
We moved church about two and a half years ago because we were feeling a bit unnecessary, there were so many wonderful competent people that, opportunities to serve seemed really restricted.
The culture in our new church is very different, and you’re right about it being a culture which needs to be developed. I think what works best is the occasional large-scale ‘bring and share’ type lunch in the church hall, as the perception of what standard needs to be met is lower. It is very hard on our Vicar’s wife though!
We do a thing called hopsitality Sunday…were people sign up to either be hosted or to be hosts (or both). They are then matched up. Often people who don’t naturally invite people round do sign up…once they’ve done it a few times the hope is they will feel confident to invite others round off their own backs. And you’re right…if the vicar and other staff members in the church are not modelling this – who will?
Sounds like a good idea Dawn. And am I right in thinking that you’re in an area where inviting people over is not part of everyday culture?
Bring and share is a good one Peter (couldn’t find a way to properly reply to the thread so continuing down here). Eating together is good, but it’s being invited into people’s homes which is also important. I think we do need to work hard on expectations of what hospitality looks like. There’s definitely a danger of the model being rather too fancy! Hospitality is not only Sunday lunch with all the trimmings, it’s also a cup of tea or a take away, or a ham sandwich.
Having people over for meals is not a done thing round here…I think I’ve found it’s more of a middle class thing to do, but certainly don’t want to generalise.
I remember when I was growing up (in Liverpool) my mum would always cook tonnes of sunday dinner and if I invited mate’s back then she’d be fine to have them round – but would never really invite people herself. I should ask her why…