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Archive for June, 2009

Vicar’s wife job description – Part 9 – Teens and Drunks

Posted in Alcohol, Teenagers, vicar, Vicar's wife job description, Vicarage, tagged , , , , , , , , , , on 8 June, 2009| 1 Comment »

It’s been another busy week at the Vicarage. Not only do we have Polly and the baby still in residence, but we’ve had Voice staying as well. Voice loves to lead singing in church and is on a week’s work experience with another local church. We are just providing accommodation for Voice as she’s spending most of her time with the other church, singing in services and meetings and helping out with their activities.

Voice is only fifteen, so it’s been interesting having her stay. We’ve been trying to get her to give us the inside track on being a teenager so we are better prepared to handle our gang when they hit those challenging years. Her capacity for sleep is enormous, even to the extent of being completely comotose through our jet-engine sounding shower pump going.

Gone has called at our front door three times in the last week, drunk, homeless and very sad. This morning I gave him a cup of coffee and a sandwich as he sat on the front step, waiting to speak to the Vicar. As he added more Frosty Jack to his coffee, he became more restless and abusive.

Frosty Jack

Frosty Jack

I was trying to find out about local hostels for him when he finally left. He couldn’t wait for the Vicar. The booze had made him too jittery. One minute he was weeping and admitting the mess he’s in, the next he was swearing and threatening to throw lighted paraffin over the front door.

I didn’t feel in any danger, though. As spoke to him softly, I could see the self-loathing in his eyes. And the Vicar and his elders were meeting in the study.

He probably won’t find a hostel place, though, cos he’s on the booze. He told me that he’s thinking about doing something to get himself locked up. At least in prison you are fed and given a warm bed. He’s 51, and has been told that he’ll die soon, given the state of his liver. He keeps warm by begging for a day saver ticket and then spending all day on the bus. That way he can cope with being out all night.

He needs too much help to stay with us. I can only pray and feed him sandwiches and gentle answers.

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A (Rather Shallow but Still Good) Reason to Live in the Inner City

Posted in Fun, Inner city, tagged , , , on 5 June, 2009| 1 Comment »

There are lots, of course – the closeness of community, the terrific range of ethnic cooking ingredients available locally, the way that people are real, the great public transport, the wonderful places to eat bacon butties and drink strong tea…

But today it is the value of the shopping experience that I’m chuffed about. I know it’s shallow, but I was very pleased to get these summer strappies yesterday afternoon.


They cost £2. That’s a quid each. I’m tempted to become Imelda Marcos. I now think it would be perfectly possible, even on a Vicar’s stipend.

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The Vicarage Garden – Help needed

Posted in Vicarage, tagged , , , , , , on 2 June, 2009| 10 Comments »

I am a gardening ignoramus. I know nothing about plants at all. And now I am (jointly) in charge of an old-fashioned garden with proper herbaceous borders filled with pretty flowers that are coming out in an impressively sequential manner. I don’t know what any of them are and I think it might be good to know. At least if I know their names I might feel like I was vaguely in charge.

So here are some pictures of some of the current garden beauties. If you can tell me what they are I’d be very happy.

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Lads Mags, Porn and WHSmith

Posted in Family, Lads mags, tagged , , , , , , , on 1 June, 2009| 5 Comments »

I’m wondering whether I should stop shopping at WHSmith. I’ve recently discovered that what I thought was a respectable family store is actually a peddler of porn.

Not as respectable as I thought

Not as respectable as I thought

On one of my first visits to my local Sainsburys, I had a discussion with a chap stacking the magazine racks. The lads mags were being placed at knee height, as usual. Sainsburys were very prompt though. The chap I spoke with went straight to his manager, who got him to move the mags immediately. And then he came and found me and told me

a) that he’d moved the mags and

b) that the shelf stacking plan came from WHSmith, who supplied the magazines.

And then this weekend, I had to go to our local newsagents for emergency milk (another bumper crop of visitors). When I asked him why he had so much porn on his shelves he told me that

a) when they took over the shop WHSmith supplied them with that amount and

b) there was a market for it.

I told my newsagents that his shop was bottom of our list, because of his porn stock but it sounds to me like WHSmith are dictating the marketing of porn and pushing it. Should I start a boycott? Will it do any good and would you join me?

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